We talked earlier about not making accusatory statements against others when communicating. This is because it puts the other person on the defensive. Instead, you should focus on the positive - which is how the other person’s actions or statements made you feel. No one can argue with you for having feelings and you are more than entitled to them. Instead of using terms like “you always forget to close the window,” you are better off to use a term like “I get cold when the window is open. Can you please remember to close it? Using “I” statements shows more respect for the feelings of the other person. You are no longer putting them on the defensive and are deflecting any sort of communication to yourself. This eliminates the potential of a conflict in communication style.

Even if you are right when it comes to a potential conflict, such as your partner leaves the bedroom window open all the time, forgets to close it, despite being told repeatedly, and it rains while you are at work, soaking the room, you...

If you are heading towards conflict, you may feel a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. Many people feel this way when they know that something is going to evolve into conflict - you are far from alone. The best way to deal with conflict that is entering in your life it so diffuse it.  How do you do that?

Follow these techniques to diffuse potential conflict:

Identify pending conflict. Learn to recognize stilted communication and hostile behavior before it escalates. Conflict is often like a boiling pot. It starts out simmering, but then, if the heat stays on, it turns into a full boil. If left covered up, the water will run all over the stove and make a mess. Conflict is something of the same. You don’t want it to run all over the stove, so nip it in the bud

Communicate in a positive manner. Using “I” statements, you should talk to the person with whom you are having the conflict and, without making...

Negative communication gets you nowhere. Examples of negative communication are as follows:

Shouting Silent treatments Slamming doors or punching walls Nasty e-mails Name calling These are just a few examples of how communication can be non-productive and negative. None of the above is really effective at anything except for relieving a sore temper.Shouting never solves anything. There is an old saying that during an argument, whoever resorts to shouting first loses. The only reason for shouting is if someone cannot hear you. In most cases, it is used to try to stress how angry another person is. If you catch yourself shouting at another individual, you are losing the argument. You are not being productive you are just creating more animosity.

Want a remedy for shouting? Be aware of the fact that shouting is non productive. If you catch yourself shouting, STOP. Right away! You are not helping your cause; instead you are merely escalating a conflict

We are the premier provider of anger management classes.

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comes in many different forms. It can be written, oral or even visual. It is necessary to be able to communicate with one another in the world. People who have good communication skills can go far in a world that relies on social interactions. Human beings are social animals. We rely on interactions with others for our very survival. From the time we are born, we are totally reliant on others for our needs. While we all strive to become independent as we grow, we also have an innate need to socialize with others and be part of society. Communication skills are necessary in order to be able to interact with others.

Communication skills are probably the most important asset that anyone can have. Excellent

communication skills can be just as valuable as an education. People with good communication skills know the power of words as well as body language and are able to get their ideas across to others with power.Communication...

Do you have good decision making skills? This is more than just about going into a restaurant and knowing what to order. It has to do with decisions that you make that affect your every day life. If you are constantly making poor decisions, perhaps it is time to evaluate your decision making skills. Some tips on how you can do this are as follows:

One of the reasons that you may make poor decisions is because you feel stressed to decide something right away. In most cases, this stress is self inflicted. Do not feel stressed out. Instead, make it a habit to take your time and not make any rash decisions.Give yourself at least 24 hours before you make a decision about anything. If you are finding that you are taking too long to make decisions, you can be over thinking. In that case, follow a technique where you put a time limit on how long you have to make a decision and stick to it. This way, you can force yourself into...

Like many people with co-dependent issues, Mary had no idea about her own emotional needs. She never bothered focusing on them because she was so busy focusing on what the needs was of other people around her. She focused on the needs of her husbands and her children and gave little thought to her own needs.



Being self-sacrificing sounds so noble, doesn’t it? After all, aren’t we all taught, time and time again, to do for others instead of ourselves? Isn’t the very essence of parenthood all about self sacrifice? Have you ever noticed that people who are self sacrificing and seemingly selfless often end up getting the short end of the stick just about every time they go out to play? While those who come across as selfish seem to end up on top? Why is that?



The reason why some people do not end up getting their emotional needs met is because they are taught that it is selfish for them to think about themselves and that they should put others first. While it is desirable to put your...

1. Try to put yourself into the shoes of the other person and understand where he or she is coming from. Imagine what is driving them to help create the conflict.

2. Try to understand what you hope to gain by resolving the conflict. What would be the perfect outcome in your eyes? Can you imagine getting the conflict resolved in the way that would make you happy? How can you work towards this?

3. What are you willing to give up? Do you feel that it is okay to compromise to resolve a conflict or are you worried about saving face?

4. Can you think of a way that you can allow the person with whom you are involved in a conflict to save face?

5. What good is losing your temper do? How is the other person likely to react? Do you think that this...

Betty had a 162 IQ and spent a good deal of her time studying. She was bound and determined to get into Harvard and knew she had a good shot. She joined clubs not because she wanted to join or even had an interest, but because she knew it would look good on her Ivy League school application. During her high school career, while other kids were going to dances and enjoying themselves, Betty was spending all of her time studying. She was not only going to go to Harvard, she was also going to become a doctor and she wasn’t allowing anything to stand in her way. Betty did have a few friends who she hung out with in school, but she was not considered popular. She longed to be able to fit in more with her peers, but felt that many of them were unintelligent. She found it increasingly difficult to form relationships with anyone. They just weren’t as smart as her and she couldn’t be forgiving. Besides, when she got to Harvard she would find more intelligent people like her.

Doug was in Betty’s class. He never really...

A young woman named Marie was working at a bank. She was not an exceptional teller but because of her personality and the charm she was able to exude charm unlike others, she got promoted to be a personal banker. She reveled in her new position and took it as a great compliment. People often came to see Marie and would wait for her rather than go to Gloria. Gloria was far more efficient than Marie, who would often get forms wrong or make mistakes. Gloria couldn’t understand why people would wait to see the incompetent Marie over her. One woman who came into the bank worked at a salon. She offered Marie a part time job during her days off being a manicurist. The salon needed someone to do nails. Marie had her license and had mentioned it to the customer making small talk, but never did nails professionally. The customer told her that she always had a job with her if she wanted it, regardless of how well she did nails. She brought up the fact that it the salon, there were some girls who did hair very well, but had no personality. Then there were other girls who did just an average job with the hair but whose personalities shone. Those were the stylists that people requested.

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Good conflict is all around us. It usually involves us making some sort of choice. When we go out to eat, for example, we cannot possibly order all of the food on the menu, no matter how good it looks. This is an example of a good conflict. For most people, the choice on a menu will not deter them from eating out. They will welcome this conflict as it gives them an opportunity to make a decision. In this case, the decision will be what they should eat for dinner.

Most of us do not welcome bad conflict into our lives, yet yet it comes in anyway. Bad conflict is that which causes us some sort of stress. The reason that bad conflict causes us stress is because we do not know how to handle it. The more we can learn how to resolve conflict through conflict coaching, the more we can allow bad conflict turn into good conflict and the less stressed...