Conflict Coaching & Consulting : Blog
Online Anger Management Classes | Anger Management for Court Ordered, Personal Improvement and Business
Exercise regularity to help induce positive feelings
Read a book
Practice deep breathing
Speak with a trusted friend
Use positive by self-talk
HALT! Determine if you irritable because you are hungry, lonely, tired etc.
Take a long bubble bath
Have sex with another willing participant
Take a walk
Talk about the issue
Have a good cry
Write down the pros and cons of dealing with the situation in the way you are considering
Walk away NOW
Go to a 24 hour establishment to clear your head.
Remove yourself from the situation
Go out to dinner with friends
Paint your nails
Work on a project or hobby
Spend time with someone special
Do something ...
Five messages Ferguson can teach us about anger
is a messenger. Anger is almost always a safe way to express pain,
fear, and a host of other emotions. In the wake of the tragic shooting
of Michael Brown, the grand jury decision, and the anger that erupted in
Ferguson, we must ask ourselves what message anger in the community may
be sending. Following are six proposed messages that anger may project.
There is unresolved trauma. Psychological
jargon describes two broad types of trauma – direct and vicarious.
Communities with constant exposure to trauma can experience a numbing
effect that makes it impossible for the parties involved to care about
or understand the needs of others. The end result of this unresolved
trauma is vilification of all parties involved, which in turn can lead
to a mentality that says “I will protect myself or hurt you before you
hurt me again.”
My voice has not been heard. I don’t feel understood.
In a negotiation, it is always important for all parties involved to
feel that their voice is heard. The right to be heard is directly linked
to the idea that, “I matter.” When systems do not ...
Inefficient organizational systems
In order for there to be a productive, efficient, safe and healthy
work environment, employees need clearly defined expectations and
instructions on how to carry out their daily tasks. A supportive
environment coupled with clear explanations can eliminate ambiguity,
confusion and ultimately conflict. Without clear expectations employees
will become frustrated and leading to a prevalence of unhealthy
conflict in an organization.
Lack of pre-post testing assessments
To accurately determine the impact of anger and conflict resolution
interventions there must be pre-post testing to assess the root cause of
anger and conflict within the workplace and the impact of interventions
on management conflict in the workplace. In the absence of such testing
the impact of the intervention on changing attitudes, beliefs, or
actions that affect organizational performance will simply remain
Cookie cutter conflict resolution training
There are probably hundreds of conflict resolution presentations and
training programs in the market place. One common mistake made by
organizations is to not evaluate the root cause of conflicts but instead
providing ready-made training without address root cause. These
trainings may elicit positive feedback from participants; however, they
do little to address the root cause of organizational conflict.
Assessing the ...
Access to and
comfort with the indiscriminate use of lethal weapons
There was also a time when children would resolve disagreements
were their fist, rocks and sticks. Incidences
like Columbine have taught us that this is no longer the case. Unfortunately lethal weapons are more accessible
now than ever—anyone can get their hands on one. There appears to be a troubling trend towards
using lethal weapons to settle disagreement. When addressing anger and conflict in society,
there must be an intentional conversation regarding how individual resolves
conflict without resorting to the use of lethal weapons.
The Emergence of Hate
With the rise of the internet, those who promote anger,
aggression and conflictual positions can
easily find a community of like-minded individuals to co-sign their cause. While places like Facebook and Twitter are
valuable tools in building healthy communities, these social networks can also be
a breeding ground for those who have intense anger, aggression and communication
issues. Those who are angry at the government, their community, their neighbors,
other races, other nationalities, and/or individual of other sexual orientation
etc. can all find a place to continue to feed their ...
Conflict can be both bad and good. This article is focused on the positive value of conflict in relationships.
1. Conflict reminds us of our individual identity
individual has a voice, a set of core beliefs and a mode of expressing
those beliefs that forms the core self—their identity. This voice is a
combination of innate traits, values and, experiences. Without this
identity, individuals cease to exist. In a conflict, this unique
identity often becomes evident when the individual speaks. When couples
communicate and are in conflict, the intention in speaking is to be part
of the conversation, to matter, and to be afforded the respect of being
heard. However, too often this expression of individuality in
relationships is perceived as a threat which leads couples to constantly
communicate from a defensive posture, therefore, keeping the individual
on guard and unwilling to open up and communicate effectively.
2. Conflict is an opportunity for the relationship to grow
studies have been done on the value of conflict in organizations and
more recently other researchers have also attested to value of conflict
in relationships. Researchers have found that couples and organizations
that avoid conflict do ...
When an individual presents with frequent anger, it has become embedded in our culture to assume they need anger management classes.
This position is misleading. While anger is a normal human emotion,
chronic anger has many varied causes which, if not correctly diagnosed
and treated, can lead to social, emotional and medical problems. With
the stakes so high, targeting the root cause of anger and designing
appropriate interventions is imperative. Here are eight possible causes
of anger and potential treatment options that don’t necessarily include
anger management classes.
Physical and Emotional Trauma:
Those who have survived trauma including physical, sexual abuse, war,
natural disasters or death, may have learned one fundamental lesson
about life—nothing and no one is safe. This intensity of this type of
emotional disturbance can drive anger by creating a persistent need to
defend oneself from real or perceived danger. Anger acts as a façade–a
defense mechanism to keep others at bay. Many of these individuals who
use this defensive technique, long for closeness and intimacy, however,
they cannot risk being hurt again therefore anger acts to keep them
safe. Anger management classes
alone cannot improve these situations. Psychotherapy is recommended in
order to assist ...
a child, I was the unfortunate childhood witness to domestic violence.
Those events shaped who I have become today, and as a mental health
practitioner and a student of anger, conflict and domestic violence I
see the world through different lenses. One set of lenses is that of the
child who heard my mothers’ cries, and the second set of lenses as the
professional who assist others in dealing life’s pain. Having the
knowledge, experience and battle scars of watching domestic violence
occur, I can share with you, in my opinion, the voice of the abuser and
what he feels and experiences as he takes the victim through the
treacherous cycle of abuse. My position is that in the mind of the
abuser, there is unresolved insecurity, anxiety and vulnerability which
drive the need for constant power and control in an effort to give the
appearance and façade of superiority. As the cycle begins, so does the
inner-secrets that dictate the behavior. The inner feelings of the
abuser think like this:
1. Fear & Weakness: Those close to me say and do things that make
me feel naked emotionally. The truth is that because they ...
etty had a 162 IQ and spent a good deal of her time studying. She was
bound and determined to get into Harvard and knew she had a good shot.
She joined clubs not because she wanted to join or even had an interest,
but because she knew it would look good on her Ivy League school
application. During her high school career, while other kids were going
to dances and enjoying themselves, Betty was spending all of her time
studying. She was not only going to go to Harvard, she was also going to
become a doctor and she wasn’t allowing anything to stand in her way.
Betty did have a few friends who she hung out with in school, but she
was not considered popular. She longed to be able to fit in more with
her peers, but felt that many of them were unintelligent. She found it
increasingly difficult to form relationships with anyone. They just
weren’t as smart as her and she couldn’t be forgiving. Besides, when she
got to Harvard she would find more intelligent people like her.
Doug was in Betty’s class. He never really noticed Betty ...
Charlotte, NC Dr. Carlos Todd director and License Professional Counselor at Conflict Coaching & Consulting noted that the company has been in operation since 2006 and has provided a variety of mental health services but in the last few years has focused its programs on assisting clients in relieving anger, conflict, anxiety and depression symptoms. This company focused its clinical services in the chosen subject areas because of the ever-increasing problem of anger and family conflict.
Dr. Todd, himself an expert in conflict management, shared that this company has taken a structured approach to treatment using a holistic treatment approach; thereby utilizing a variety of assessment tools, psychotherapy interventions, and collaboration with medical personnel re psychiatrists, psychiatric nurses and primary care physicians. This integrated approach ensures the optimal health of clients and has helped the organization find success in treating men who struggle with anger, families in conflict and individuals who struggle with anxiety and depression.
Conflict Coaching is credentialed by the North Carolina Board of Licensed Professional Counselors and accepts insurances including Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, ...